Asexuality or frigidity? Who - DYKKA.com

“I won't wear these clothes, I look terribly asexual in them!” You may know this sentence from those around you, maybe you even say it yourself sometimes. But is this a true picture of asexuality? And does it have anything to do with frigidity?

First, let's talk about what each term means.

What is asexuality? A type of sexual orientation, similar to heterosexuality or homosexuality. Who is an asexual? An asexual person is someone who is not sexually attracted to any gender or sex. The word “sexually” is important – in addition to their sexual orientation, people also have a romantic orientation. Asexuals do not feel sexual attraction, but this does not mean that none of them can have a romantic relationship.

But when we talk about frigidity , we are talking about the so-called hypoactive (reduced) sexual desire disorder. This is a condition in which a person experiences anxious feelings due to a lack of sexual fantasies or sexual desire. For example, hormones or relationship problems may be to blame. The disorder is treated according to the cause: some take medication, some go to psychotherapy, others combine both methods.

Asexual people do not feel sexual attraction, but this does not mean that they cannot be sexually active in any way (they can masturbate, for example). People who struggle with frigidity can have any sexual orientation, and their sexual orientation does not disappear even with low libido (i.e. sexual urges).

We should also not forget that the diagnosis of frigidity itself is quite controversial . As the study HSDD and asexuality: a question of instruments states, there are no scales, measures, or other precisely defined standards in diagnostic manuals for this disorder by which frigidity should be determined.

What's more, even an asexual who has no health problems can receive this diagnosis. The key is for them to visit a sexology clinic and complain about a lack of sexual desire - but what if the person in question is unhappy only because their surroundings, another person in a partner or sexual relationship, or anyone else is making it clear that they should be more excited about sex ?

The most important thing in such a case is to take control of yourself: Manage your sexual needs and learn to love your body.